In my watercolor class this week we have been experimenting painting fresh vegetables. First I focused on some French beets I picked up at Whole Foods. I was drawn to their soft yellow-orange color even though the root parts were fuzzy and hairy, and to the dramatic yellow-green of their stems. Besides that I know my niece, Cheari, a vegetarian, loves them and she is due to arrive Sunday for a visit. Then I moved on to painting two onions, donated by my friend Jan Matsuoka. I’ve come to the conclusion they are not just any old onions but republican onions. Why? Artistically I am drawn to them. On the surface they appear so fresh and polished and firm, but the very outside layer of skin is tissue thin. Onions are deceptive. For one thing, they resemble parts of the male anatomy, though granted this is not my area of expertise. Curiously they are one of the oldest vegetables known to man, and were cultivated by the Chinese over 5,000 years ago. They are rooted in an old old culture. What is deceptive is their colors are intense and in fact they almost glow. It takes a strong knife to cut through even the outside layer. Their heart, though, is hidden under layer upon layer of bitter tasting leaves that take forever to peel off. And to get to the heart, if indeed there is one, the explorer must shed many, many tears. Sometimes the heart is even rotten. I’ve thrown many an onion in the garbage for just that reason.
A couple of years ago because of severe anemia and suspected abdominal bleeding I was directed to have a vaginal probe. Surgery was not an option because of my atrial fib. Everything turned out fine, but from one who has experienced it, it was not a lot of fun. And mine was voluntary.
I think all the males in the legislature in Virginia should be required to have an involuntary penile probe to remain in office, don’t you? Likewise the prerequisite for viagra prescriptions should be a rectal exam. Tit for tat.