My book club having just finished embracing Boys in the Boat (my choice) it was with some interest when starting east across the Richmond-SanRaphael bridge yesterday I craned my neck to better see a shell with not nine but six rowers. In profile with the sun behind them I couldn't make out the sex of the rowers, but in today's climate, it could have been either. All were paddling on the same side which I found curious, and they were struggling against the incoming tide. I hope they made it without crashing into the bridge. In the comfort of the book club discussion, I realized I keep choosing books set in Seattle. Almost sixty years since I lived there, and yet my unconscious keeps drawing me back.
In Oakland to do my taxes, I was once again aware of what I miss most in Santa Rosa: Lee's energy is there, not here. It was there in the Rockridge cafe, (yum) where I had brunch yesterday. It was there in Montclair, where I quickly purchased two bras in a store we knew by heart. It was even there on the busy streets and freeways. I wish I could bring it up here, alas. Even though some of her cremains are scattered in my new back yard, nothing has yet taken root in my being. This is not to say that I don't cherish my new community, for I do, but just that it will never be where my heart is. Like changing direction when the tide comes in, steering through life is a challenge.
From the look on her face, you can tell how seriously
we all take each assignment. Goodness, I had forgotten what its like to follow rules.