Thursday, April 1, 2010

Facing Your Fears

April 2, 2010. My first blog, dedicated to Lee, my beloved of 50 years, who would have been 85 today, had her heart an lungs kept pace with her spirit.

My goal is to share something new of my self each Friday:

a story, or photo or painting or personal challenge perhaps.

Lee often said that the way to push through fear was to make a game of it.  No doubt this began for her in childhood, when softball was the center of her universe. 

When I first expressed interest in the computer, about 25 years ago, she pushed me to save my pennies and go for it.  It was a Mac, of course, and I think the screen was 11 inches.  I counted out a lot of pennies.  It terrified me.  Now she knew nothing about computers, but she knew much about me.  So one night she presented me with a gift of a computer Scrabble game.  

“The way to push through your fears, Bonnie, is to make a game of it” she pressed.  And she was right.  After about a month of Scrabble, my fingers no longer trembled when I pressed the on switch.   

At that time of life I carried a little beige tote bag with the logo “chronic student”.  I still have it.  “That’s you, Bonnie,” everyone said, laughingly.  Lee continued to indulge my meanderings. 

Even in those days I loved taking transparent slides, but it would be two decades later before I started painting or writing.  Back then I had just changed careers for the umpteenth time, and was scattered in many directions, all fascinating.  Now I hope I can resurrect some of that curiosity and inspiration.

This blog is my effort to keep learning and finding purpose in life, as I move into my eighties.  Thanks to all who nudge, push, help and challenge me.  Especially these days Myrna, Sandy, Jan, Cheari, Cath, my creative writing group, and my wonderful painting critique group, Water Color Connection.    Enjoy, and while you’re at it, be playful!


Sheila's Sketch Book said...

Fabulous, Bonnie. I'm so happy that you are blogging. I'm sure we can work though the problem you have getting into your blog. What fun!!!!

Myrna Wacknov said...

Wonderful! You have so many gifts to share and the internet is a terrific place to do so. Keep up the painting and writing!

Matthew Jordan said...

Thanks Bonnie - wasn't expecting tears this morning, but they are good ones, as they are from memories of Aunt Lee. Push through fear by making a game of it - that sounds exactly like something she would say, and something I needed to hear today. Thanks for sharing and glad you have started a blog.

Eeee Aaaa said...

Bonnie, You are just a wonderful writer! I love this chance to get to know Lee because I missed her "the first time around". And to get to know you better. You are my first friend to start a blog. Good for you and all of us. Love Emily. Happy Birthday Lee....

Sandy Delehanty said...

My dear Bonnie, you never stop amaizing! At a time in life when it seems most people are so set in their ways that they refuse to learn anything new, or listen to new ideas, you do the opposite. I am so happy that all those years ago you took a workshop from me and have continued to study, paint, and travel with me. What you may not know is how much you teach me. You may think of me as your teacher, but I swear it is often the other way around. I wish I had known Lee before, I know I would have loved her too. I will remember her saying and the next time I am afraid, I will make a game of it. Thanks so much, Sandy

cjd said...

Bonnie - you've pushed through so much and you inspire me to keep pushing to win game after game. lose some too I guess.